smile like you mean it

I am clearly neck deep in work this morning as I carouse the internet in search of hilarity.

Selleck Sandwich on Rye

WTF kind of awesomeness is this?!

The folks over at Selleck Waterfall Sandwich have successfully cracked me up to pieces this morning with their website featuring Tom Selleck with various types of sandwiches.

This is better than Nude Man Carrot AND Furniture Porn combined!

Which sandwich is YOUR favorite???

Oatmeal Flavored Grammys

As I watched the 2010 Grammys I couldn’t help but notice the one rock star I idolize (Stevie Nicks) seemed out of place and quite frankly, embarrassed to partake in the evenings events.

Where did all the grit and grim of music go? When did things become so vanilla. In an over sexed media, how is it that the one industry that leaves a bland taste in my mouth is rock and roll?

Lady Gaga impressed with a power ballad accompanied by Elton John- but at this point I’d expect nothing less, and maybe even am starting to expect more, because the schtick is quickly approaching its expiration date.

Beyonce in all her hair weaved glory strutted in heels more impressively than any stripper I’ve ever seen, but the fact of the matter is, she was singing over a track- and you can clearly see that in multiple places throughout her performance. I do believe it is scientifically impossible for the voice to make sound when the mouth is in fact, not moving.

All is not lost on the evening though- I have to say I was thoroughly impressed with Pink’s performance. A beautiful, simple song with a haunting hook, her unique aerobatic flight through the air left me with chills. Original, well thought out, intelligent, professional. And yet, she won no awards that night.

And then we come to Taylor Swift. I am almost tempted to praise her glory seeing as I have completely surrendered to her infectious adorable nature- but I couldn’t help but think the entire time “is anyone else aware of the fact that she quite simply cannot carry a tune?” That’s not a personal judgement, that is the flat out truth. If you put her vocals side by side to the arrangement of her music, you’d see her pitch falls quite noticeably under the target.

I understand that Grammys are won for recordings, not live performances, but have the big brothers of the music industry really dumbed our ears down so much that this is what we consider to be ultimate unadulterated talent?

Or is it perhaps a fear of idolizing those that are truly gifted, because it makes us question our own worth? Is it possible that we worship the mediocre because it allows us to believe that we ourselves could do what they are doing, and in turn, makes us feel better about ourselves?

At the conclusion of the program, there was only one question that stood out in my mind, and has continued to plague me since:

Is this all we expect from our rock icons?

If so, shame on us.

2010’s No-Good-Very-Bad Grammys

When I was a kid, I had a favorite book: “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good Very Bad Day.” It’s about a boy who goes through a day without a single thing going his way. The moral of the story is that even though you may have a bad day, there’s always tomorrow…“even in Australia.” That’s how I feel about the music industry after watching last night’s Grammy Awards; nothing’s going right, and everyone’s just waiting for tomorrow to come. The problem is, everything that’s going wrong just keeps getting recycled by the same ol’ show without producing any new music. And we, the listening public at large, are Alexander, praying for Australia. Where was the music? Where was the artistic drive for emotional connection? Why are the most popular artists wasting so much of their energy and their fans’ time trying to stay popular? I felt like a restaurant patron who’d just had an awful meal, with no service, and a ridiculous bill; I want to raise hell shouting “Who’s in charge here?” Popular music has become a genre without definition; just a bunch of mishaps passed off as trend. Don’t look now, but if we as artists let this continue, we’re all gonna wake up with gum in our hair.

Kermit The Frog in Rehab

Caitlin Krisko & The Broadcast band member “Katz” demonstrates Kermit The Frogs battle with alcohol addiction. Get well soon Kermit!!!